still not cheese

So, as I mentioned in a previous post I don't eat red meat. I like chicken and fish. I can tolerate really white pork. But no questionable meats. No road kill, no unidentifiable, no pressed, processed or mechanically separated. Just to let you know the score.
Well, the other day I have this really DISGUSTING cold. Can't breath, eyes are running, nose is running, head is aching blah, blah, blah. You get the gist. I go over to my parents house on Tuesday's to watch my show since I don't have cable so I am sitting on the couch and my Mom calls. Since I am sick she is being all sweet and seeing what I would like best for supper.

Say it with me now... Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Yep I am spoiled.

So after some thought I decided on pizza. By this time I have consumed gallons of TheraFlu and Lipton's cup o soup. I am slightly concerned that if I ingest anymore straight liquid I might drown. Really. I am not a fan of drowning. I am thinking that if I eat something spicy I might actually be able to TASTE it. Ahh, taste, flavor, substance. I have missed you.

So my sister arrives home and she likes Domino's so we call and order something covered with deceased wildlife and a half cheese/half pepperoni. My Mom swings by on her way home to get it... and they don't take checks. Now, my lovely Momma. Born in 1958 in Muleshoe, Texas. She wears reading glasses, has BEAUTIFUL silvery hair, wears a skirt everyday, and always writes in cursive. PERFECT PENMANSHIP PEOPLE!! She does not have a debit card. She does not have a credit card. She writes you a check or she gives you cash. Period.

And she tells the peeps at Dominos to keep their stinkin' pizza and she will go elsewhere. She calls us at home to give us the sad news.

I have a head full of snot and an empty tummy. I am not pleased. Thanks anyways Dominos.

We call good 'ole Belton Pizza Hut. I ask Hey! Do y'all take checks? The reply Yeah, sure. I place my order. One half cheesy goodness/half questionable pepperoni; one hunter's bounty. Hand tossed crust, extra marinara and we are set.

Momma heads in for the pickup and... THEY DON'T TAKE CHECKS!!!!

YOU ARE KIDDING ME! I ASKED YOU!

I have been betrayed. Lied to. Lead astray. Mislead. A multitude of other words ending and beginning with lead.

My Momma calls. She has told them to keep their pizza and she will go elsewhere. Pizza Hut, you have let us down.

So sweet, loving, patient Momma heads to the HEB. THEY will ALWAYS take her check. They know her there. It is home. She purchases a plain yet exotic FOUR CHEESE PIZZA and some dough /sauce/ carcass something or another for her and my Dad.

The weary traveler AKA Momma arrives home and we get to cookin'. Heating. It's whatever. We pull the Cheese Pizza from it box.

IT'S A PEPPERONI PIZZA!!!

I kid you not. There is a pepperoni pizza IN the cheese pizza box.

My poor Momma. She is defeated. Undone.

Her HEB has betrayed her. How could this happen? Why this pizza? This box? This night? We stand in the kitchen stunned. Dismayed. Darn it. Hungry!

We pull the pepperoni off my half pop it in the oven and we eat. The taste? Bitter defeat.

In the end I take some more TheraFlu and we call it a night.